I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
