if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize