At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You took a bar mat shot.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize