I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
