I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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