careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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