I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
