lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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