he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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