bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
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The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
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This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Bring me that man meat
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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