That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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