Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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