ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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