either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
