belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
