Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
