so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
