she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
