with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
