I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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