I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
