If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
