So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
