if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize