How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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