Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
