I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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