he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
