I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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