The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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