The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
