so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
