Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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