So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize