"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
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