She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
