Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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