i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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