I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
