so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize