Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
