i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
