did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
