Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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