that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
