That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
