Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
