I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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