I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i now understand why vodka
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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