i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize