apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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