Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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