apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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