was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You may now shotgun with the bride
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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