The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
