Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
