We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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