Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
